In an interview with The Mirror ahead of the release of his autobiography, Walking With Dignity, Rudolph shared the pain and loneliness he faced during this period. Following the costly divorce from his second wife, Dounne Alexander MBE, Walker found himself penniless and without a place to live, forced to rebuild his life from scratch in his 70s.
“It was painful. It was extremely difficult. I just didn’t have any financial means. I was literally starting from scratch again in my 70s, with nowhere to live. It was a time of great pain and loneliness,” Rudolph explained.
Despite these hardships, Rudolph kept his struggles hidden from his EastEnders co-stars. Some days on my way to the studio, I would pull up at the side of the road, have a cry,” he recalled. I’d pull myself together, arrive at the studio and the environment would act as a tonic, and I was ready to go. I suppose it was a sort of double life.”
One co-star, Diane Parish (Denise Fox), noticed something was amiss and would check in on him during breaks, though Walker never fully revealed the depth of his troubles at the time. He added, “Diane knew there was something going on, but I never revealed the depth of what was happening.”
During his time of crisis, Walker occasionally relied on late-night filming sessions to secure hotel stays provided by the BBC. On one occasion, he reflected, “I sat on the bed and cried. Questions of: ‘Who am I? Why am I in this position?’ There was no way the public watching me as Patrick every other night were aware that was what was happening.
Rudolph received support from his first wife, Lorna Ross, despite their separation in the early 90s, with Ross allowing him to stay at a friend’s home. Walker expressed gratitude for her help, saying, “Bless her. We are still extremely good friends. It didn’t take me out of what I was experiencing, but it cushioned a lot.”
Now, a decade later, Rudolph has come a long way and is in a much better place. Reflecting on his journey, he shared, “I know today, people will go to a psychiatrist, seek help, and maybe I should have done, but I was getting it with the people that I had around me. I am where I am today because of decisions I made over the years. Am I happy with where I am today? Yes, I’m extremely happy.
Rudolph Walker’s autobiography Walking With Dignity will be released on September 26 by Chronos Publishing and will be available at all good bookstores. The memoir offers a candid and inspiring look at his life, both on and off-screen.
